Pork Chop Moment

Apparently we are not only stealing recipes, we are also discarding everything but the metric system (actually I'm totally with you on that one, Your Awesomeness, what's so difficult about counting to ten?! It's like One Two Three Five Six Potato Eight Ten, not exactly rocket surgery, huh?!).

So lets get it on!

I'm at my mothers place on the beautiful island of Öland right now, trying to sell her the Fatify concept.

This is rather sick and queasy:)      what?...oh, sorry, I meant quick and easy!

Gratin Pork Chops, Tomatoes and Cauliflower Mash 
2 Servings

Start of with the tomatoes (actually you should start of with deflowering the Cauliflower and put it to boil but you know how to make The Mash by know...do it!)

1 Tomato
Feta Cheese
Creme Fraiche
Basil or Thyme
Pepper (this time I used Lemon Pepper). 
 

Slice one big tomato in half. Put the halves sliced side up in a oven proof dish, preferably one that also can fit two pork chops.
Mix Feta Cheese, Creme Fraiche, Basil and Pepper together (how much you use of the Feta and Creme Fraiche depends on how much you wanna make...see, it's like the metric system, not that complicated). 
I used about 75 gr of Feta and .75 dl of Creme Fraiche.

No, actually I didn't use Feta, I used "Mediterranean Inspired Cheese" that my mom brought from the store...I guess it was on the cheap side (and folks: if it is cheap, sometimes it will taste cheap. There are no shortcuts to quality, ladies and germs, use real cream, real butter and as close to real, fresh, natural ingredients as you can because it makes all the difference in the outcome).

Put about a tablespoon of the Feta Creme (witch I've used in a lot of dishes..inter alia to tacos..mm..gött!) on each half and put the dish in the oven at 225°C (437°F).

2 Pork Chops
Slices of Cheese
Mushrooms
½ dl Cream 
Basil, Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Lemon Pepper and whatnot...don't be afraid of spices, spices are our friends.

Season and fry the pork chops to an almost ready state, put them aside.
Fry the mushrooms with some pepper (again, I used Lemon Pepper but ordinary Pepper will do just fine).
Put in the cream and let it simmer for a while (you do do an occasional stir here, don't you?).  

Take out the tomatoes, put the pork chops alongside them, put the mushrooms on top of the pork chops.
Some slices of cheese on top of the pork chops and tomato and put back into oven until the cheese has melted and has become golden yellow. 

Put some lettuce on a plate, spread some of the Feta Creme on the Lettuce, slice some Cucumber (I use the potato peeler to first peel of the sometimes bitter green stuff and then I peel the rest of the cucumber into thin, nice, fresh slices) over it.

By now, you have made the Cauliflower Mash and you are ready to serve. 

Serves Up Dude!

My mom’s first reaction when I put this in front of her was: “Yuk!”

Whereupon I raised hell for some time as she tried to explain that she had only meant the size of the serving.

“It looks great! but that too much for me” would probably have been my reaction but we can’t all be as wonderful and well-mannered as me…anywhoo:

 

Gött!

 

Chicken and Waffel-Pancake

When I visited the Poor One, he made a dish with chicken, creme fraiche and hot peppers. So I decided to steal the recipe and put it out there as one of my dishes. (Yeah, you heard me poor one, it's my dish now!) However, I modified it a bit and served it with my special waffel-pancake. 

Chicken goo

18 oz (500g) chicken fillets or whatever chicken you'd want

1 paprika, preferably a red one

1 onion

1 chili (I used Piri Piri)

fajita spices (I made my own blend of course with cayenne, cumin, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper, coriander, thyme and cinnamon)

1 can of creme fraiche

Cut and fry the onion, the paprika, the chili and the spices in butter. Brown the chicken and fry it until it's almost done, then add the creme fraiche and let simmer until the chicken is cooked through.

Make the fabulous waffel-pancake!

1 egg

100 ml (yeah, that's right, I will only use the metric system from now on, get used to it. The metric system rules! Learn it!) of Cream

1 tbsp grounded psyllium

a dash of salt

Mix everything and let thicken for a few minutes. Fry it in a pan like a pancake or make it in the waffel iron (the simplest and you wont have to flip the pancake). Serve it with the chicken goo and some greens. It feels yummy in my tummy!

Chicken goo and waffel-pancake


Gött! 

The ponderings of Pones

So, I came home pretty late one night after I had been traveling and of course I had to make something to eat. This special night I had cravings for some kind of bread so I decided to make Pones, a scone-type of bread. It's quick, it's bread, and it's fat! Just my kind of meal.

Pones
10 fl oz (300 ml) PO-fiber (now I don't know what this is called around the world. It is a fine fiber made from potatoe anyhow)
2 tsp of finely grounded psyllium
2 tsp baking powder
a dash of salt
1 egg
1,8 ounces (50 g) butter
8,8 oz (250 g) Quark-curd or cottage cheese


Melt the butter. Mix the dry stuff and add the curd, egg and the butter. Blend well and let it set for about 10 minuets. Make six or seven buns and bake it for about 15-20 minuets in 390 degrees Fahrenheit (250 grader Celsius) 

Before baking

Serve with butter and cheese or do like me, top it with some mackerel in tomatoe sauce (a common student food here in Sweden) mixed with crème fraîche.

Pones with creme fraiche and mackerel topping

Gött!

ABCDEFG*

Blue Cheese Burgers with Cauliflower Mash and Creamy Sauce
Some Servings..perhaps..I dunno...one giant or 4 commoners?

 Burgers
18 oz (~500gr) Minced Meat (Pork/Beef)
3.5 oz (~100gr) Blue Cheese (36%)
1 Egg
1/3 Cup of Cream
Pepper
Butter ffs! (for frying's sake)
½ Additional Cup of Cream 

Mash
1 Average Head (Preferably Cauliflower, Definitely from the Plant Kingdom)
1/3 Cup of Cream
1 Egg
3.5 oz (~100gr) Matured Cheese ( I used Västerbotten. The Cheese, not the Province)
Pepper
0.9 oz (~25gr) Butter

First off: Music! 
 Its friday night, and I feel all right 
The party is here on the west side 
You gotta get your groove on, before you go get paid
So tip up your cup and throw your hands up
And let me hear the party say
This is how we do it: 
 ( Montell Jordan – This Is How We Do It )

Start by de-bouquet the head (Oh, man, I sure do hope you went with the Cauliflower head) and
start the boiling of the same, with some salt and butter...no, not from the 0.9 oz so..yeah, you need more.

Burgers
Just mix everything together, except the ½ additional cup of cream..mix it good (I believe that the easiest way to do it is to mix everything together and Then mix it with the minced meat).

Do some patties and get started on the frying...move it!

Mash

Now the Cauliflower should be nice and soft (don't be afraid to overcook, it gonna get mashed anywhoo) so
you take about 3/4 of the cheese and grate it then mix (actually, you can use a mixer this time even though I just use a fork) the grated cheese whit the Cauliflower and the rest of the ingredients.

Sauce

When you're done with the burgers, pour the ½ cup of cream that you DIDN'T mix with the rest of the ingredients in the burgers...in the pan with all the juicy stuff from the burgers, whisk and: Tadaa!

Put everything on a plate with some Romaine Lettuce and do with the non-grated cheese as I've done.

Dish it out!  

 

 ...Gött!






*A Blue Cheese Dish Eats Fairly Good

Creamy cheesy cauliflower soup (CCCS)

So I went to my parents, who by the way thinks it's really difficult with my eating habits even though I assured them it's the easiest thing in the world, and they got really hungry at noon (not me though since I had had a great breakfast full of fat, and fat keeps you mätt (satisified)! Anyhow, they had to make lunch and decided to go for a ready-made soup which they would only had to warm up. The soup contained a lot of not-so-healthy things like HFCS in the form of modified corn starch so I decided to make my own soup out of cauliflower. Lots of healthy fats that keeps you mätt and made in no time at all. Yes, because if I had started making the soup at the same time my mother started preparing theirs, it would have been ready at the same time. Which mean you can eat good, healthy fast food. So here is the recipe as follows:

Two servings

1/2 Cauliflower
1 cup (250ml) of Boiling water
1/2 Boullion piece
1/2 Onion
1/2 cup (150ml) Cream
Salt, black and chili pepper to taste
Grated cheese of choice (and by choice I mean full fatty cheese!)

Chop the onion and fry it in butter until it's golden soft. Add the water, boullion and Cauliflower cut in small pieces. Boil until the Cauliflower is done and mixable. Add the cream and bring to boil again, then mix the soup and add the spices. Add the grated cheese and stir until melted. Serve the soup decorated with whatever blooming herbs/weeds you've got nearby, I had Lemon balm and Heartsease in mine. Pleasure for the eyes!

Time it took to make the soup: 10-15 min!

Excuse the crappy photo taken with my iPhone, yeah I said it and I mean it, iPhone is crap! Crap crap crap crap! Whoo, it's feels good to get that out. Again.

Also, someone else in the family loved my soup...

Nellie enjoying my CCCS

Gött!

Dressing the burger

Yesterday I wanted to make some hamburgers LCHF style. The recipe demanded me to use barbeque spice blend (a common spice blend here in Sweden, I don't know if there are any similar spice out there in the rest of the world.. well probably there is) but the problem with the blend you get in stores is that it contains monosodium glutamate which I try to avoid as much as possible. Instead I made my own blend, and it turned out very well.

[Maybe I need to introduce myself. Hello, I am the Pretty, Smart and Rich one. I also know how to bake. And cook. And fix a Xbox with cuetips and after shave. Well I'm kind of omniscient. And VERY modest.]

To make this blend (from now on I'll refer to it as BBQSB) you'll need as follows:

1 tbsp Salt

½ tbsp Garlic powder

1 tbsp Paprika powder

½ tbsp Oregano

1 tsp Black pepper

½ tbsp Thyme

1 tsp Cayenne pepper

1 tbsp Onion powder

2 tbsp Cumin (Spiskummin in swedish, not Kummin)

0,5 tsp Nutmeg

Put it in a jar of own choice, and if you do it like me, it will become beautifully layered.

Barbeque Spice Blend

Then you get the pleasure to destroy it all by blending it all with evilous shakes! Moahahah! (Evil laughs are implied).
Now it's ready to put in use. To make my kind of hamburgers (3-4 servings) you'll need:

18 oz (500g) of Minced meat (half beef, half pork)
1 Egg
1/2 cup (100ml) of Cream
2 tbsp of Fibrex (a fiber that's made from sugar beet, low on carbs)
1 Onion
1 Boullion piece 
1 tsp Sambal oelek
1 tsp Soy sauce
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp of your home made BBQSB
A dash of chili
3-4 tbsp butter for frying


Mix the cream, the fibrex and all the spices. Stir and let set for about 10 minutes. Chop the onion fine and mix the onion and minced meat with the cream. Let the it set for another 10 minutes. Make the hamburgers and fry it in butter. Serve it between lettuce leafs, tomatoes, cheese, red onions and home made hamburger dressing.


Hamburger dressing 


1/2 cup (100ml) of  mayonnaise
1/2 cup (100ml) of creme fraiche
Tomato paste to taste (not to much though, rich on carbs)
BBQSB to taste


Blend and pour richly over the hamburger. This is the fat that will get you mätt (satisfied)!

Burger dressed as a clam

Later on when you have eaten this delicious meal all you can say is:

Gött!

IRS #1

It’s the end of the money but still a lot of May to go so I’ll make this fast, cheap and fat.

[Hi btw, I’m the poor one. The one who cannot bake bread. I’m sure The Pretty, Smart and Rich One will put up some recipes on bread and buns and cakes  later on (make sure you ask her about the Pear/Chocolate Cheesecake with Strawberry Whisperings we had on her birthday!). ]

This is what you need for the IRS*:

One serving

The Korv-i-Ugn

100 gr (~3.5 oz) Sausage O’Choice  I used Falukorv but I guess not many people outside of Sweden know this fine culinary sausage made from lard and slaughter residues. Actually, I’m gonna try this with a fillet of pork one of these days, I’ll tell you how that went.

1 Shallot

1 Clove of Garlic

½ Cup (~100ml) of Cream

Butter

Dijon Mustard

Basil

Curry

100gr (~3.5 oz) Grated Cheese (I used Gouda.  Leave Approx. 1/3 for the Cheese Pancake)

Butter an ovenproof small dish.

Slice the sausage into 5mm thick slices and put half of them into the dish.

Spread some Dijon Mustard (maybe a total of one teaspoon) and a couple of teaspoons of butter over the slices.

Put the rest of the sausage in the dish.

Chop up the shallot and the clove of garlic and spread over the sausage.

Season with some basil and curry

Put on the cheese, please n pour the cream, Akeem and put in the oven

at approx 225°C (437°F)

Perhaps it’ll look something like this pre oven:

Moving on to:

The Cheese Pancake

1 Egg

½ Cup (~100ml) of Cream

1 Tbsp Psyllium Seed Husks

Grated Cheese

Butter for Frying

Whisk everything but the butter together and put aside to thicken while you make:

The Crunchy Stuff

1 Tbsp Sunflower Seeds

1 Tbsp Pumpkin Seeds

1 Tbsp Sesame Seeds

Butter for Frying

Heat up the butter in the pan, put the seeds in and fry. When done, put seeds on a paper towel.

Make the pancake and put it on a platter.

By now the Korv-i-Ugn should have a nice color so put it beside the pancake and pour the sauce over it.

Sprinkle The Crunchy Stuff over the dish and perhaps you had some greens you can put on the plate as well..I checked but I guess it just wouldn’t magically grow itself in my fridge…stupid lettuce.

You’ve just been Served!  

 

 Gött!

*Inexpensive Rapid Servings

Cut the crap, cut the carbs

Don't be afraid of natural saturated fat! This blog will soon be filled with culinary experiments with a low carb high fat ratio.
For more information regarding why you shouldn't be afraid of fat visit these websites:

www.dietdoctor.com
www.fathead-movie.com

(This blog is written by two Swedes who has experienced huge health benefits with this kind of diet and wants to save and share recipes for their own and others sake.)

Cut the crap, cut the carbs (sugar and starch)!